20.6.05

Nothing Delusional About This: Fallen Angel

From Peter David's weblog:



Flippin' fantastic. This is as good as it gets, kiddies. FALLEN ANGEL--a creator-owned comic I've been following since its beginnings over at DC (who treated the book like a nasty, redheaded stepchild and got it canceled after 20 issues), is coming back this winter compliments of the fine folks at IDW. Peter David is still writing his creation, of course, but the original series artists, David Lopez and Fernando Blanco, will not be returning. When I heard that, I thought it was a bit of a travesty--until I saw the above picture. A new artist has arrived--one that might just 'save' the Fallen Angel and bring a new awareness to the title. I'm not saying Lopez and Blanco were bad--the new guy, J.K. Woodward, is just that much better.

Pick this one up in December, peoples. And in the meantime, pick up DC's first and only trade paperback collection.

~G.

18.6.05

Making the Big Time: Batman Begins Movie Review

Hey, all,

Check out my review of Batman Begins at Comixfan.com:

Batman Begins Movie Review

Now, if only this review came up on Rotten Tomatoes... *sigh*

Anyone else see this flick? I give it a 4 out of 5.

~G.

13.6.05

I Did It (So You Won't Have To)

Compliments of Yahoo's message boards...the funniest message subject lines, regardless of matters of personal taste:

Jesus Juice For All at Neverland
Pedophilia Legal In California!
Jacko Freed! Whackos Celebrate!
Rich Black Man Free to Molest Again (okay, this one's racist...take 'black' out and it still reads funny)
Just Wait Till He Molests His Own Kids
Jacko the Ripper Parties Tonight
Boys Jumping Out of Cakes at Neverland Tonight
Sleepover - Milk, Cookies, Boys Served at Neverland Tonight
MJ to OJ and Blake: "Couldn't Have Done It Without You"

So which are the real headlines, which did I paraphrase, and which did I make up for a quick funny?

~G.

Living in Bizarro World (The Michael Jackson Edition)

Goodbye people,

Me am not very upset today. Me becoming less upset the less me doesn't think about it.

Jacko, good woman, am found guilty today. On no counts. Me happy. Him did good things to little boys and got punished for it! Why? Justice have been served. Verdict is proof money not buy...um, verdicts. Mesereau not shyster lawyer. Jurors not really afraid of being ones who find Jacko not guilty! They good people. People remember: where no smoke, no fire! Him been accused before for nothing!

Between this and not living in Bush world, me ready to not take razor and make self live.

Me live in Bizarro world, where down am not up, where right am not wrong, where yes not mean no.

Me will not talk about verdict later, when me am not so calm. Me not really want to know what you think.

Hello,

.G~

(*To not read this message the way it not meant, please not use reverse of nothing me said.)

6.6.05

A Blatant Attempt to Spice It Up Around Here (Or: SEX! SEX! SEX!)

Good morning, campers!

(So it's afternoon, almost evening. Who cares?)

I am one of the tragically un-hip. That much is a given. As proof: I went to a bar for the express purpose of singing karaoke last night. And I go every week. Doesn't that just scream, "Loser"?

So I'm waiting to see if I'll be up one last time, so I can sing some Barry (Manilow, not White; not "Can't Get Enough of Your Love Babe," but rather, "Copacabana (At the Copa)"...yes, I'm continually aware that I suck). And meanwhile, there's a group of girls, with a few guys, in back. One of said hot, hot, hot graduates from the drama queen academy starts to pester me about letting her and her friends sing the next song with me. Offers me a twenty. My buddy Brian whispers, none too softly, that I should ask for--yeah, you guessed it--*makes sucking noise*. Have the girl make like Monica Lewinsky. The reason I say Brian said it none too softly was that next thing you know, she starts volunteering half her cadre's services in administering said action (without asking any of them, natch). Are we having fun yet? Of course, not being the epitome of James Dean-style cool, and never having been in said situation before to consider a response, I'm struck dumb.

You know what song they wanna sing? Gloria Gaynor's 1979 ode to homosexuals the world over, "I Will Survive." They tell me "Copa" is too old and they don't know it. Never mind, of course, that Manilow's song debuted only the year before "I Will Survive." So, they want to emasculate me and make it up to me by sucking my d!ck.* Are we having fun yet?

I turned 'em down. Of course I turned 'em down! Guys around who may or may not be boyfriends, girls freely attempting to loan out their girlfriends for sex (okay, so most young people today don't consider oral to be sex, but anyway...)...it all adds up to cruelty. But I could have had more fun with it. You know, I could have asked for a sign of good faith. I could have even gone so far as to *gasp* actually sing the song they wanted me to sing. (I have thought about it, even though I don't go...the way most guys who sing that song go.) What's the best line I could manage? "Let me think about that for a second.....ummmmmmmmmm, no."

And then I started singing the Barry, using the wireless mic my buddy brought, and dancing with a few older women (to qualify: a few years older than me) in tow around the bar.

Please, someone just kill me.

Or teach me to be cool.

~G.

P.S.: Some time later, the same girl had whipped cream from the birthday girl's cake in her hand. As Brian sang around the bar, she went up to him and smeared some on his face. He quickly took said cream and smeared it right through her hair! I had to give him a high-five. Good grief, that was funny. Worst thing is, it seems she didn't even really notice.

P.P.S.: * - Self-censorship brought to you by the guy dressed as a pirate in Michael Nesmith's Elephant Parts that brought you the letter "I."

4.6.05

The Hype Machine Continues Interminably...

More reviews:

Last Hero Standing #1 Review
Dracula Vs. King Arthur #1 Review
Incredible Hulk #82 Review
Firestorm #14 Review
Green Lantern #1 Review
The OMAC Project #2 Review

Check me out!

Oh, and a new Ruddfu--um, I mean Fuddrucker's opened up in Pittsburgh, so I'm gonna go try out the grub tonight. (You know, the joke never gets old....switch two letters and voila!)

~G.

1.6.05

Paging Linda Lovelace...

Well, the secret is out. Deep Throat came forward, and apparently, there'll be no second-guessing it, as Woodward and Bernstein have endorsed W. Mark Felt to indeed be the guy. And here I was all ready to do this bit...aw, hell, I'll do it anyway.

"All this situation needs now is for a couple more people to step forward and go all 'Spartacus' on the Deep Throat thing. Hal Holbrook, Linda Lovelace, Jerry Hardin...it'll be a big party."

There, good to get that out in the open, dumb as it was.

For my money, Mr. Felt was a hero, even if he did what he did for what some may term "the wrong reasons." Sure, he could've resigned first, but again, refer to his reasons for doing what he did. I know, I know, he didn't get any higher in the FBI by doing what he did. But hey, as a writer friend pointed out, it's an interesting truism that disgruntled employees make the best witnesses.

I do think the identity of Deep Throat was not the best-kept secret, as it seemed several people out there already knew who he was, like Woodward's wife, Nora Ephron, and her son, and her son's campmate who wrote a school report about it, and...

Now I hear his family stands to make a small fortune if they ink a book deal. Here's hoping he pounded out the text 20 years ago and just needs to do some updating. The guy is 91 and in failing health. How's he going to be able to recall all that information and present it in a cogent manner? A ghostwriter?

At least let the kids and grandkids have a "My father/grandfather spilled important government secrets that helped to topple Richard M. Nixon, and all I got was this lousy T-shirt" shirt, or three, or however many kids he has.

~G.